Olivia Wilde has some truth bombs to drop about life after pregnancy.
The actress, who welcomed son Otis with Jason Sudeikis almost a year ago, says new moms shouldn’t expect to “bounce back” so quickly after giving birth. Despite gracing the latest issue of Shape showing off her toned midriff in a black bustier bra and blue skirt, Wilde claims her post-baby body isn’t in tip-top shape.
“I am not in perfect shape. In fact, I’m softer than I’ve ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot,” she tells the publication. “The photos of me in this magazine have been generously constructed to show my best angles, and I assure you, good lighting has been warmly embraced. The truth is, I’m a mother, and I look like one.”
So, what should one expect about their post-baby body?
“First of all, you haven’t seen your vagina in months, even though it’s all her fault you’re in this situation. Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn’t the gal that you remember, and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being, thank you very much,” she says.
“That gorgeous bump you proudly paraded around town for some 40 weeks has only retreated slightly after the birth. Now it’s a lot like a partially deflated pool toy. After giving birth, I joined the ranks of millions of new mothers when I moaned, ‘Why do I still look pregnant? Is there another one stuck in there?'” Wilde, 31, continues. “But luckily, that part doesn’t last long. Basically, for the first few months, your body has that covered, and you can just let it do the work while you focus on keeping the kid alive and occasionally washing your hair. Breast-feeding helps, in the most intense way. You feel your uterus contracting while the baby nurses. Your belly starts to go down. Your thighs become slightly less thunderous.”
According to The Lazarus Effect star, she’d much rather spend her time “playing endless rounds of the ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider'” with her son than stress about getting back into shape.
“I believe in a world where mothers are not expected to shed any physical evidence of their child-bearing experience. In that same world I believe there is space for exercise to be as much a gift to your brain as it is your body,” she says. “I don’t want to waste my time striving for some subjective definition of perfection. I’d rather rebuild my strength while dancing my ass off…literally.”