Queen, feel thyself.
The queen of a beehive does not need to proclaim that all surrounding bees are peons (read: beeons), as such use of her energy would be 1. redundant and 2. a waste of what might have been a fantasmical ponytail helicopter if distributed otherwise. This natural phenomenon can be observed in Beyoncé, the grand matriarch to culture as we know it, when she pollinated the island of Brooklyn with a royal degree of ferocity at the Tidal X: 1020 concert on Oct. 20 at Barclay’s Center.
From her bey-lated arrival to the black carpet to her twerk-off with Tidal’s second most HBIC, Nicki Minaj, Yoncé exhibited all of the fundamental characteristics of a prized Queen Bey. May you use the footsteps of her evening as a guide to determine whether or not you are entirely qualified to bestow such an illustrious title upon yourself.*
*Spoiler: You probably are not, unless you are Jay Z‘s better half who once toted a camera crew to the tip of a pyramid while dressed in Egyptian-ish garb for an a capella performance of “Ave Maria” .
1. You host a private photo shoot prior to your arrival to your own event. You know—for the ‘gram.
2. Once you have arrived to the carpet, you brush aside all bey-sic bees who try to maximize your arm pouf ponential. If she had eyes, she could see that it was clearly already on point.
3. You take artistic risks, posing for photographers in an unprecedented manner, to ensure your ponytail is dutifully honored. Also, for the ‘gram.
4. You bring it hard on the dance floor and then walk off as if you hadn’t blown innumerable minds. Easy enough.
5. You keep your “friends” on their toes. Don’t let them get too comfortable.
6. You determine which song you and your partner sing for karaoke. Hair whip solos only.
8. Your sister stans for you. (Unsolicited)
“Well isn’t it Wednesday?” – Solange Knowles
9. Your “friend” stans for you. (Definitely unsolicited)
😍😍😍😍😍 A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on
10. Hell, YOU stand for you, and that’s the only thing that matters because everything else is just buzz. See what we did there with the bee noises?