Caitlyn Jenner is opening up about her transition.
In a video from the Makers Conference on Tuesday (Feb. 2), the I Am Cait star talks candidly about starting hormone therapy while in her 30s before giving it up after meeting Kris Jenner. In the eight-minute clip, the 66-year-old reveals she had 36B breasts at the time but eventually had them reduced to start a family.
“I started doing things to make me feel better about myself. I started on hormones. I was a good 36B. I loved them. I thought this was fabulous,” Caitlyn said. “My mission at that point was to transition before I was 40. Got to 39 [and] I just couldn’t go any further.”
“I made this decision to kind of move on with my life — Kris and I together with this family. I said, ‘Okay, I got to get rid of these gender things and get off hormones and this and that,'” she continued. “I actually had my boobs removed. I never told anyone that.”
According to the Olympian, she could only wear dresses and stockings when she was away from home as an outlet to feel more feminine.
“The rules with Kris and I were: ‘Don’t dress up, certainly around the house. If you really need to do that, when you’re on the road, take stuff and do that.’ So I did that for years,” she said.
Caitlyn admitted that she contemplated suicide after getting a laryngeal shave to flatten her Adam’s Apple. When tabloids published photos of her post-surgery, Caitlyn admitted she wanted to “end it” so she could “stop the pain, stop the hurt.”
“[But] I thought, I didn’t want to end my story that way,” she confessed. “I thought, ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen?’ [So] I transitioned.”
“Is that the end of the world? No, I’m still here,” she added. “I’m excited about life.”