In a lengthy essay penned for The Players’ Tribune, the 37-year-old opened up about his struggles with narcotics and how it affected his marriage with his then-wife. According to the former NBA star, Kardashian once walked in on him getting high with someone else.
“One of the darkest places I’ve ever been was when I was in a motel room, getting high with this chick, and my wife (at the time) walked in. That probably was like rock bottom,” he recalled. “First of all I was in a motel. A motel. I’m a millionaire. I’d made it out of Jamaica, Queens, and won two NBA titles. And I’m in a motel, with some random person, doing coke. But I just wanted to get high with this girl, and I had no other place to go. I couldn’t take her home. You know, I was being a scumbag. Nothing else I got for that. No excuses. No bullsh*t. That’s just the truth.”
He continued, “My d*ck and my habit took me down all the roads that you don’t ever wanna go down.”
Despite his multiple indiscretions, Odom awoke to find the Keeping Up with the Kardashians by his bedside when he came out of a four-day coma following a drug overdose in Nevada. “My ex-wife was there in the room with me,” he remembered. “After all the shit I had done, I was surprised to see her. Honestly, that’s when I knew that I was probably in bad shape.”
Odom, who finalized his divorce with Kardashian last year, admitted he started dabbling in drugs in 2006. Before then, the had only tried marijuana and never touched cocaine in his life.
“I didn’t try it until I was 24 years old, when I was on summer vacation in Miami. And … I wish I could tell you there was a reason for it. There wasn’t. It was just an asinine decision I made,” he wrote. “Right around that same time, my grandmother passed away. I lost a lot of family members in a short period of time. When I did coke, I felt good for a minute. I stopped having so much anxiety. I didn’t think about the pain. I didn’t think about death. So I kept doing it more and more, but I was still in control. It wasn’t like an everyday thing.”
However, doing cocaine became his daily routine when he was married to Kardashian. “At that point in my life, I was doing coke every day. Pretty much every second of free time that I had, I was doing coke,” he shared. “I couldn’t control it.”
“With cocaine especially, there’s a high, and then an emotional low. So it’s like a roller coaster. You go high, and then you go low. High, low, high, low. After you do it, you feel shame. You think about all the reasons why you shouldn’t have done it. Then the cycle starts again,” he added.
Since the incident in the Nevada brothel, Odom swore of drugs and is working towards repairing his relationship with his family. “I’m sober now. But it’s an everyday struggle,” he said. “I have an addiction. I’ll always have an addiction. It never goes away. I mean, I want to get high right now. But I know that I can’t if I want to be here for my children.”