Kailyn Lowry looks like such a happy mom on-screen, but now she is revealing that things have been different behind closed doors.
Kailyn Lowry has an upcoming book, A Letter of Love. She initially called the project an apology to Lux “for basically the mess he was born into.”
However, it developed into a message for all three of her sons and what she has to say to her son, Lincoln, is frankly shocking.
“I never thought that I could love another person as much as I loved Isaac,” Kailyn reveals in her new book. “I didn’t believe that I had the capacity to love the same way. I was so afraid that I couldn’t be the mother to Linc that I was to Isaac.”
“I cried all the time,” she continues. “I was so anxious, and I would get upset about everything. I worried all the time.”
“How can I love another child the way that I love Isaac? He was my whole world,” Kailyn confesses. “I even told Javi [Marroquin] that maybe he should just take the new baby, and I would go off with Isaac. I could not believe that these were the thoughts that I was having, but they were real.”
But Kailyn quickly changed her mind.
“After giving birth to Lincoln, I cried so hard,” she writes. “When I saw him, it was instant love! I had no idea that I would be able to love him like I loved Isaac.”
The reality star explains, “I had no idea that my love for both of them would multiply. In that moment, I knew that I could do it. I knew that I could be a mom to two boys…I quickly learned that love multiplies, it doesn’t divide.”
Though Catelynn and Tyler were able to find solace in each other throughout their journey of pregnancy and adoption, Kailyn was not so lucky. She also opens up about her “extremely toxic” marriage to Javi.